Saturday, May 15, 2010

Something's missing

Dear 30s,
I know it's been a while...but you know how things go and I'm really trying to as they say "fall out of love with you" and build a new connection with 40s.

Anyway, I promised myself that this letter would be all business and none of the mushy stuff.  I need you to do me a favor.  Can you please check your pockets and that special place where we used to put important stuff and see if you can find my thought to talk filter.  I know I had it when I was with you.  I was always so patient with others and tolerated their craziness without saying anything (well without saying anything out loud).  And now I'm finding myself thinking and speaking at the same time.  I don't know how many ridiculous people I have actually TOLD were being crazy and that I didn't like the way they were talking to/treating me.

Case in point....The other day I was in a little fender bender.  I was merging, started going and then a car was speeding toward me so I stopped - well the car behind me didn't.  and BAM!!!  So I got out, they got out and then the guy goes "You know you don't have to stop, you have your own lane!!"  Okay so I walked up to the intersection to calm down, but that didn't work...then I returned to them and they looked at me and started complaining about my driving again and I said

"You know, I'm really surprised that after YOU rear-end ME the first words out your mouth aren't How are you?, but some lame ass complaint about my driving!!!"

Then I walked to my car and called 911.  I know you can't believe it.  The old me would've cried or just let it go...but honestly I now have no filter.  When people do something stupid or upsetting to me I HAVE TO TELL THEM.  Some guy started yelling about the way I was exiting the freeway and I actually rolled down my window asked him to repeat himself and then said to him "Not to use that language with me, because I'm not letting his craziness ruin my day."  I've told friends their lipstick color is all wrong, I've asked people "did they not see I was headed into that parking space?"  My new phrase is " I think we are going to have to talk about this?"

I am actually afraid of running into people I used to know, for fear I might tell them what I actually thought about them.  I find myself turning down other aisles when I see someone.

So you see why you have to look for that filter.

I'm really sorry to bother you - but it must be somewhere with you because 40s just laughed at me when I asked if they had one I could use.

Still missing you,

p.s. You don't have to hurry.  Secretly I kinda like it!